The Leeder Birthday Calculator (Patent Pending)

Without wishing to spin this out some of you will know that I was 27 last week… All of a sudden I feel like I am becoming a man! And as the relentless toll of the years gently yet insistently draws me into my 30s I’m starting to realise I’m not a teenager anymore. And that sucks!

The purpose of this blog is to aid all of those who find themselves in a similar position to me and is particularly relevant to those who were born in 1979 (like me) or 1980. I hereby announce my invention of a valuable tool which will prove to be incredibly useful for people born in one of those two years and, although I have realised this now for many years, I think it is likely that I am the first person ever to blog about it. Ever.

As I said earlier, the years do have a habit of marching onwards and one problem this brings with it is an increased occurrence of the odd ‘Senior Moment’. Now, many of you will I’m sure be thinking “Why the heck is Matt, who is 27 yrs old, blogging about suffering from senior moments” many others will be thinking “What’s a senior moment” and still others will not actually be thinking at all… Well, in answer to the first group of people I promise you I do have the odd moment and even now at my tender age I have a habit of forgetting my age!

So this tool I promise will help those of us born in ’79 and ’80 to remember our age FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES! Awesome eh? Even the inevitable onslaught of senility cannot defeat us with this bad boy under our belt!

Now I have spun this out quite far enough. Here, with no further a due, is my patent pending Birthday Calculator.

My ‘creation’ allows the ‘user’ I take the two digit number at the start of any given ‘year’ and the two digit number at the end of the ‘year’ and add them together. Then for the rest of my life I will know what my age will be on New Years Day of that year. i.e. This year is 2006. Thus 20 + 06 means I was 26 on 01/01/06 hence it is my 27th birthday during that year.

If you were born in 1980 then this works for any year also but the answer it gives you is the age you will be on your birthday that year – some would say this, what I like to call the “birthcalc v 1.2 formulas”, is even better!

So, for you thickies, here’s another example. In 2076 my ears won’t work, my eyes will have fallen out and my brain will be running on 3% power hence I will have a terrible memory and won’t even be able to see my diary. However, I will simply recall my Birthday Calculator formula and hey presto – I will know that on New Years day that year I am 96 (20 + 76)! I will be 97 that year!

So there you go - as you can see it is faultless (unless I live to 120 – I plan not to).