Friday, May 26, 2006

Da Vinci must be rolling in his triangular grave

Tonight is a bit special for me for I am in Stockholm, SWEDEN! I feel very special indeed for I am sitting on my bed in my hotel room, I have managed to piggy-back on someone's network and I am blogging! I feel so... so...*pause to identify correct word* cosmopolitan!

Anyway, enough of that. Even though I feel like I'm in the Bourne Identity or something I must concentrate on getting the job done then I must go to sleep...

The other day Chell and I went to see The Da Vinci Code. I haven't blogged about it yet because I wanted to mull it over for a while. At first I didn't feel that my thoughts we straight enough but as time has passed they haven't really straightened. At this point I would love to have the ability and inclination to launch into an all out offensive against the message of the movie. I wish that I was more fired up. I wish I could furiously elucidate and eradicate every little piece of heresy the film covers. I wish, in fact, that I really felt anything at all...

You see, the problem with the Da Vinci Code is it is simply a dull movie. Taken out of the context of the book the plot is slow to unfold, the scripting is weak and cliched, and the acting unfortunately matches up perfectly to the script! By the end of the movie we finally discover ("ooOOooh!") that Jesus was married and ("ooOOooh!") that Mary Magdalene's tomb still exists...but by the time it got there, well, I was more concerned with the fact that my jelly babies had run out.

The film has all the potential of a genuine blockbuster in it's own right, but it seems to have been derailed in a most incredibly lame way... in fact, you get the feeling that if the film had been produced without the notoriety of the book coming first it would have been sniggered at and passed by as 'just another lame church bashing flick' (just like that 'gay Jesus' film someone made a couple of years ago).

The Sun newspaper published a headline asking if The Da Vinci Code marked 'the death of the Catholic Church'? Well, I sincerely doubt that a film this below-par could even deal out a convincing graze on the Pope's aged knee...

Thursday, May 25, 2006

The illustrated adventures of Electralyte

So a fairly bizarre thing happened today - Jon arrived at our rehearsal today with a hand drawn picture. This one in fact:


What a cool picture eh? Apparently an Electralyte fan drew this and gave it to Jon during the week - I dunno if it was a school project or something? Either way I can't quite believe that someone would spend such a loooong time drawing a picture of us!

Quite frankly, it makes me very happy to be immortalised in a pencil drawing. If only Tony Hart still had that gallery thing...

(If you want to view the original picture to cross reference then please click herePosted by Picasa

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Adventures with Tigers

Quick announcement; James Vigurs has rejoined the world of blog! Please make it a blogging priority to visit his blog here or click the link or the right...

A bit about James. I met him doing a course in Theology, Music and Worship at London School of Theology (when I was there it was London Bible College). First and foremost he's a great man of God; living out faith in a really earthy way with no unnecessary airs and graces, secondly he's a great musician (sax, guitar, keys, mongolian nose-flute, etc), & thirdly he's a quality friend with good stuff to speak into the blog community!

One last thing; his surname is pronounced Vai-gurs as in 'Tigers'. Just so we're clear...

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Big Brother? Why bother?

Big Brother needs to go. I am fed up with the annual trash onslaught which I am spoon-fed and forced to endure each time our TV screens display that stupid 'eye' and Davina McCall pregnant with her 15th child...grrr...

I have three issues... firstly, I don't understand how we haven't got bored of it? How are the masses always sucked into the mindless drivel - 14 people either sitting and chatting about nothing or just carrying out another 'shocking' (really?) task which now inevitably always involves 1 or 2 of the group getting rewarded and the others penalised in order to set the house-mates against each other even quicker.

My second issue is morality. Big Brother is morally void; is it me or does it operate in a parallel universe where this level of depravity is acceptable? A place where it's ok to mentally smash confused, broken, self-destructive people to smithereens on national TV... A place where it's ok to accept the application of a person with an uncommon neurological syndrome in order for them to become a ratings winner - public domain fodder to be chewed over for a week or two then eventually spat back out... A place where the freaks, the minority, & the deviants are all exploded together as human guinea pigs. So what if they applied? They probably didn't know any better...

My final issue - the final thing I hate is that Big Brother always demands a response... and in that way I've broken my own code of conduct; I myself have been 'sucked in' and can now consider myself, be default, to be 'involved'. Grrrr! I hate Big Brother!

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Church

These are indeed changing times - just read Tim's blog and came away from it feeling really positive (Which isn't something I always feel when reading Tim's blog - no offence if you're reading this TM)

Now, I'm not very good at ecclesiological discourse. When I do find myself discussing serious things then I often end up either backed into a corner or losing interest faster than you can say 'Gibson Les P...' *snore*

However, this is my attempt to say something about church which isn't too stupid so as to lose all the brainy people and isn't too wacko as to lose all the thick people. Today I read some words of a well respected ecclesiologist (I can't remember his name - I am not a facts & figures man... never have been never will be) who said something like:

Church happens when Worship, Community and Mission are all found happening together in the same place

Be warned, that is a paraphrase, but the three key words are the ones he used. And I agree - which for the sake of this blog is a good thing... I like a few things about the statement: I like the simplicity; I like the accessibility; I like the applicability (is that a word?)... Often it seems that a church will major in one area and minor in the two other ones - it seems it's fairly hard to get a good balance? Also it's apparent that those three things work best in synergy with each other. The sum creating a greater whole - that greater whole being called church... that is opposed to 'Our Social Club' or 'Our Action Group' or 'Our Sing_at_the_projector_screen Group'

I love simple things. I believe that often the biggest things can be said in the fewest words. I also believe that the amount of time we give over to discussion is often inversly proportional to the importance of the subject matter. I believe our highest calling is the greatest commandments - outlined handily for us by Jesus in Matthew 22. Essentially love God and look out for and love each other.

The funny thing is we all spend so much time chatting about 'this little theological idiom' and 'that little issue of church style' but every little part of me knows that each and everyday I fail to fulfill the expectations put upon me by those two little commandments....

That is my problem.
Lord, please take broken me...again

Monday, May 15, 2006

Torn City

I've just signed up for something called 'Torn City' (www.torncity.com) It's an online game - kinda like Grand Theft Auto except there's no graphics - it's done like an old fashioned role play game:

You enter the room - a large ginger cat is purring whilst being stroked by an old man sitting on a seat by the fire. There is a clock and a large cactus in a pot by the single window. What do you do?

> Say "hello"

I'm sorry you can't do that

> Walk forwards

I'm sorry you can't do that

> Construct a sling from leg hair

You construct a sling from your leg hair. It stings for a moment...etc...

Well, not quite but... you get the idea! So I'd really like it if you went and joined up on torn city. Eventually once we've all trained and got jobs and big, expensive weapons and done enough crimes and all bought mansions and joined a crime faction together we will take over the entire city and proclaim the freedom and truth of the gospel to one and all!

If you do join let me know! Also, visit www.torncitycentral.com where there is a helpful walkthrough for your first day (to get you started).

And...err...if you don't agree with the idea of Dungeons and Dragons...then this might not be for you...apparently it's pretty addictive. But don't worry - if you need to talk to someone about it I'll be online playing it all night long so give me a shout!

Saturday, May 13, 2006

The Cutting Edge

Chell and I are visiting our friends Will & Debbie. We do enjoy visiting W&D but as a general rule we know that something eventful and slightly tragic is almost definitely going to happen. For example, last time we visited my car got written off in a car crash on the journey there...the time before we ended up scaling a mountain via a sheer face of loose shale with no harnesses nor ropes and no mobile signal...

Danger is our middle name; but only when we visit Liverpool it would seem.

Today we went out for a walk. Nothing strenuous mind; afterall, Debbie is 7 months pregnant so we weren't going to go mountain climbing...just a simple walk through a forest in Formby, onto the beach and back to the car. However, I managed to start a chain of events that would lead to disaster as soon as I picked up a nice big stick and decided to whittle it into a walking stick (aka Gandalf Staff) with Will's knife...

Whittle - Whittle - Whittle...it was all going well, until we stopped for a rest, I went to take something off Will and stabbed the knife into my staff... it promptly collapsed, scissoring my right index finger and slicing a nice deep rut. Instant blood - instant panic...

Thankfully Will is a doctor and knew exactly what to do (The fact that Will has repaired the mighty Alan Hanson's finger at Southport A&E in the past filled me with confidence). Tissue and pressure was applied and I made it home in one piece.

So, now, the result is I'm here... typing with 1 less finger... not picking my nose...heck, I can't even point with attitude...but I'm alive and there's not a mountain in sight!

Friday, May 12, 2006

The rains came down and the floods went whoosh

Chell and I have decided to do 'cover to cover' which is a bible study book which, if you follow it carefully, will guide you through the bible chronologically in a year. You're meant to start on January 1st, but we - being oh so original and clever - decided to start on May 9th...for no particular reason...other than it was there.

Now, as 'cover to cover' is a chronological study guide you're forever hopping around the the bible - so, in a few days, we'll be reading 'Job' (which is quite a few books in) - but apparently it all makes sense. Something about 'Job' being the oldest story in the bible or something...

Last night we read the story of Noah. This story is a story we all know pretty well, but have you read it recently - without the aid of a sunday school teacher? It is bizarre. There's a few things I could talk about but the main one is this: Noah was over 500 years old when God commanded him to build the ark! How he managed to even get out of bed that day, let alone lift a hammer to strike the first nail into the hull is beyond me.

If anyone has got any light to shed on this (humourous or knowledgeable - I'm happy with either) then please do let me know...but don't get me started on dimesions and woodlice...

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Top 10 songwriters (currently)

I had a really good evening this evening - in fact it's a shame it's over now come to think of it...

A friend of mine by the name of Chris Spring came to visit me. Now, many people do know Chris, but if you don't know him be aware that he's quite an imposing personality. It's highly likely that, should you find yourself in the same room as Chris, that you will get to know him fairly soon. But aside from being a thoroughly good bloke he is also a fab songwriter. I would go as far as to say that if Q (the magazine not the James Bond character) phoned me up tomorrow and asked me to pull together my Top 10 Heroes of Songwriting then Chris would definitely be in there!*

Anyway, we spent the evening hanging out tonight. We ate pasta al fresco (!) chatted about God and church and stuff... then went inside to play a few of our 'in-the-pipeline' numbers to each other.

It was really cool. I really wanted to promo Chris to you guys who visit my blog...the next week holds a really promising showcase gig for Chris. There's gonna be industry there to watch him and maybe, hopefully, offer him a deal. I've got total faith that he's going to make it. He's just the kind of man I'd want to be in the mainstream spotlight - a Christian guy who won't waver under pressure. I'm looking forward to the rise of Chris Spring. (Check www.chrisspring.com for more info on him)

Anyway, that's enough advertising for one blog. I shall return and on my return I hope to say something much more controversial / enlightening...like wibble.

Also, I have made it my personal quest to try and get back into Phil Laeger's 'Friends who blog' link list - I noticed that I've been removed...it has been noted Phil. I am most upset. :-( Massage my ego would you, there's a good fellow...

* My choice for the other nine heroes of songwriting currently might be these (though this list is liable to change....a lot)
- Rufus Wainwright
- Ben Folds
- Neil Hannon
- Paul McCartney
- Badly Drawn Boy
- Neil Finn (Crowded house)
- Crispin Hunt(Longpigs)
- Damon Albarn
- Corinne Bailey Rae

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Kiss. Goodnight.

Here's a first for me - these are the first lyrics I've ever put on blogger.

It's a song I wrote recently - working title is probably 'Kiss. Goodnight.' or sommit like that. Thing is, I'm rarely happy with the lyrics and poems I write but I quite like these so I thought I'd stick 'em up.

Here goes:

You can tell me your stories forever
As big as the earth; as wide as the universe…
But this verse keeps on changing
Followed up by the chorus; followed up by the bridge
This one’s a tale of a hero – let me save you some time
'Guy gets -> loses -> keeps the love of his life'
Romancing; the highs and lows now

Speak a story of love - and still it continues...

CH
It’s a poem, it’s prose, it’s a single red rose,
It’s the baby inside you when no-one else knows
It’s all mine, it’s all yours; it’s sitting inside
When the rain hammers down and the lighting bolt strikes
It’s coming tomorrow; being here all the time
It’s waving hello, it is kissing goodnight.
Kiss. Goodnight.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Arctic Monkey Boy

Look. Here's Matt White with some old bird he found... someone tell Christina! Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Mr Marks and Mr Spencer


Today's blog comes to you courtesy of Marks and Spencer.

A nice lady brought in three tubs of Marks 'n Sparks cakes for us to eat in the office today. I have been enjoying the rich chocolatey-ness all afternoon and by way of a congratulations to St Michael (and all the other saints who work in the Marks and Spencer cake kitchen) I felt it was important to do a little bit of free advertising for them.

Buy M&S cakes. They're really nice.

Monday, May 01, 2006

A couple of ROOTS reflections

Just got home from ROOTS... it was a jolly good weekend; it's definitely spawned many good blog thoughts too!

Firstly, it's amazing how much effort is put into an event which lasts 65 hours (and that includes sleeping time!) It does beg the question 'should it be longer?'. I'm not sure; I suppose the main problem would be finding a week which everyone can make...so that means school holidays. Unfortunately Spring Harvest has the monopoly on Easter so we'd have to find another place in the calendar... or would we? I dunno...all I know is it's very short at the mo

My second thought is a bit more substantial and I'd really like to hear some thoughts on it...

Part A: I spoke to a lady who told me a story about when she met Jeff Lucas (although this story isn't about Mr Lucas nor is it about Star Wars). Apparently she approached Mr Lucas and complimented him on his speaking; which he was very thankful and humble about. She went on to explain a small gripe she had in that some of his stories were very much for 'Christians' and went over the head of her non-Christian husband - she then recounted how she paniced that she'd offended Mr Lucas when he said 'Oh, I'm sorry, I thought this was a Christian conference?!' and he moved onto the next person waiting to chat to him...

The first thing I thought was: "Was Lucas right to say that?"

Part B: Chell and I were chatting about the Parklife campsite. We were sad that this year (more than ever before?) there seemed to be a bunch of people who weren't at ROOTS for any decent reason? Drinking and smoking seemingly any time of the day. Random acts of violence and bullying. Thieving. Hormone charged teens (and older) hunting each other down; primal predators and their prey. It felt like an alien world walking through the campsite - certainly not a home from home for a community of God's people...

The first thing I thought was: "So, should we be hardline on rule breaking?"

The next bit: I think these two stories are linked closely; both in the way we think of ROOTS as a conference and the way we discipline and protect it's delegates. I'm not sure what the official stance is on this but my feeling is that ROOTS is a whole lot more about the discipleship and renewal of God's people, and a lot less about evangelism and people who aren't Christians? Maybe I'm wrong but I think Jeff lucas was maybe right to say what he said (Although he clearly misheard the heart that was asking him the question in the first place). Maybe I'm wrong but how about we change tact in the campsite...afterall, what's the point of rules if we don't enforce them? We simply say in the registraion pack, if you break the rules, you'llbe sent home with no refund. Isn't that the way it should work?

I'm sick of a minority who want to take advantage of the multitudes of young people in the army who are opening their lives up to God and wanting to be 'transformed' in their communities. I think as leaders we owe them this?

What do you say? Am I too hardline?