Christmas...with friends

Things are ramping up to Christmas for sure. What a brilliant time to meet with friends that you don't see enough of! This weekend has been manic socialising for Chell and I - starting with a night of poker (gamble free of course, my fellow good-solider friends) on Friday night. When we wound up at 2am I was definitely winning (for that round) but I'm sure if we'd have stayed on a bit longer I would have screwed up sooner or later - especially as I didn't have the foggiest what was going on for the majority of the time.

Saturday was shopping in Chelmsford - meeting up with White and Harries. I managed to get part of Chell's present - at last. Sat eve Mel came over with a jolly good bloke called Dave. We did lots of nice activities, including Eyetoy wishywashy, cards-of-comedy, listening to the Ricky Gervais podcast (!? it was like we were listening to the wireless in the 1940s!) and making a video where I was upside down and we drew eyes and a nose on my chin, I wore a shirt on my head and was interviewed for the press. I hope he wasn't too confused by the whole affair.

Today, Sunday, I cooked my first roast Chicken dinner. I've done beef before, but a chicken was a new step for me, and it went well. We had Shawn and Vicki Moye over which was a pleasure! For dinner we had: Roast Chicken, roast potatoes, roast parsnips, cauliflower cheese, yorkshire puddings, peas, sweetcorn, carrots and gravy. It was filling. We played some games and ate and laughed a lot more together before Shawn and Vic had to leave and Chell and I headed to Chelmsford SA for the carol service. We were late - but at least we had a really good excuse this time...

Then after the meeting Garry, Tania, Elliot and Georgia Smith (and Brother Glyn) came back to Mashbury manor for tea and lots of chat. (Actually the kids went upstairs for a spot of eyetoy while us boring adults chatted!) We had a really good time together - it was good to catch up with the Smiths and hear their heart for the SA in Chelmsford; I know we're involved with the right church!

So, that's been the weekend... busy but for good reason, it's great to hang out with friends and have fun together. I love Christmas! All that remains to be said is that if you consider yourself one of our friends we'd love to have you visit someday soon - you might even get to listen to the wireless with us if you're lucky?

Pre-New Years Resolution

I realise it’s a bit early for this but I got to thinking about New Years resolutions. Recently I’ve realised I’m rubbish at committing to things. Here’s a few things I’ve tried to commit to in the past year but haven’t managed to keep up:

• Sit ups
• Getting to bed before 11pm
• Press ups
• Getting into work on time
• Writing a song a week
• Being selfless
• Keeping my garden tidy
• Practising guitar
• Learning Italian
• Not using the computer after 10:30 at night
• Phoning Chell every day – especially when I’m away from home
• Putting savings away
• Phoning Will regularly to check up on him and be there if he needs any doctor advice

Seriously! Look at that list! And be assured - it goes on and on!

So I want and really genuinely need help in becoming more committed to things. Next year I will make the biggest commitment of my life and whilst that is not in the same scale as doing a few press ups or sit ups I need my wife-to-be to assured of the committed steadfast love I have for her now and for the rest of her life.

Hence I have already started thinking about New Years resolutions. You might hate them – I myself am not a fan, but I think that my bad memory would be aided by the exactness of the ‘start date’. I hold myself accountable much more successfully if I can connect a task to a date when it was set. However, I also figure that if I start trying to get into the swing of being a man of commitment now then who knows what I might achieve by Jan 1st?

I’ll keep thinking about those resolutions and record them on here as soon as I can.

Decorating for the Festive Season

Decorating for Christmas presents us with a conundrum of balance. As my design skills do not measure up to the dazzling skill of someone like Lard I find it a testing experience to work out what looks good and what looks… well… nasty.

Over the weekend Roland, Joan, Chell and I went to Bremen in Germany to visit the Christmas markets. There we experienced a true Christmas wonderland – Christmassy stalls tucked away in each and every crevice of the town centre. Sometimes the stalls were a bit off the wall, sometimes a bit clichéd but most of the stalls were nice little shops with nice little Christmas bits and bobs for sale.

So we came home Sunday and last night we decided to decorate - which is really early for me. I grew up in a house where decorations went up on Christmas eve and stayed up ‘til the twelfth night - I have nothing against that either, but this year it felt right to get them up now. We were feeling so Christmassy that we went out and bought some new lights and a tree. When we got home we put a few things up but ran out of time as we had friends coming over. It was a bit of a rush job – and we need to finish it off really soon.

I woke up this morning and had a look at what we had done…I couldn’t work out what I liked and what I didn’t like. Christmas decorations are a matter of personal taste – so what looks nice to me might repulse someone else. Having said that – I couldn’t even work out what I liked myself! However, I do have a few theories on what looks nice at Christmas (whether or not I manage to adhere to these remains to be seen):

1 – Greenery is good. Natural decoration is much better than shiny plastic. Use lots of evergreens and ivy (possibly holly too?)
2 – White lights not coloured lights – and lots of them too
3 – Themed decoration is a good idea – not too many colours
4 – No blow up Santas or ‘Santa - please stop here’ signage

I’d be interested to here your thoughts on this? More importantly I’d love to hear your ideas and tips on how to traditionally decorate your house for Christmas – especially as I have no idea how to make the clever stuff but would really like to!

God bless us, everyone...

Money Stuff

After a few recommendations from our friends Villheim, Deborah and Little Katie I have finally got round round to visiting Martin Lewis' Money Saving Expert site. It's really good!

The guy spends all his time finding out good deals that protect consumers from unnecessary costs - like paying too much council tax, or not receiving benefits that you might be entitled to. He is also currently recommending practical stuff like freeware antivirus and spam filters as well as a host of other stuff.

Other bits and bobs I've read that he focuses on are credit cards (how not to get screwed over), bank charges (ditto), free gifts and vouchers (making the most of them), & mortgage stuff.

So, if you're a grown up and you are interested in these kinds of things (sorry that this blog is slightly boring/practical) I can only say that I'm just having a look around the site and it's great - I thought I'd let you know in case you wanted to check it out...

A return and some flowers

I have had a brief soiree into the real world hence my lack of blogging for the past 20 days. I wanted to show something by way of an apology so I am giving you, my readership (i.e. myself, when I look at this next week) a lovely bunch of roses.

Well, the truth is I bought these for Chell because I messed up this weekend and didn't call her. There wasn't any excuse for it so I felt I needed to buy her a nice treat - a pretty bunch of flowers did the trick and I was back in the good books (and back into her top 5 - just beneath Ricky Gervais in the rankings - yes, she's that strange).

Anyway, what with everything and nothing to report I think I will sign off. Probably meant to be doing something like rehearsing with Electralyte anyway! Blessings!

Chris Moyles and his Essex based Salvation Army fan club

The photo above was taken today when Glyn, Matt White and myself went to visit Ottakers book shop in Chelmsford to have our Chris Moyles books signed and get a photo with the man himself. So here we are.... but there are a few things to note about this photo. Chris appears to only like Matt W as he has his arm around him and him alone. Mind you he did try to put his arm around me but I was too tall and it made his shirt come up - as you can see by way of appeasement I put a hand-of-friendship on his shoulder. Glyn is making a bizarre face and, unfortunately though much less intentionally, so am I - I appear to be smirking; "Excitedly smirksome" apparently (copyright Christina W).

Interestingly just before this photo was taken I presented Mr Moyles with a little blue plastic box with an Electralyte cd, t-shirt, poster and a couple of sticks of rock. I do hope he enjoys them! He seemed to like the gesture and put the box on the floor next to where he was sitting.

Today I met a legend.

Goldmember and the trailer

Today has been an exciting day for today Electralyte got their trailer. We bought it off of our good buddies from the band [dweeb] so it already has a sterling rock and roll heritage. I do hope we don't disappoint it in the future.

You will be pleased to hear that the Goldmember pulls it well - I was very relieved!

I must say that that my automobile looks particularly good in this photo - the sun catches the gold livery beautifully. Long live the Goldmember - may all who travel in her be kept safe.

PS Thank you to everyone who has left nice messages and phoned me in response to Tuesday's post - it's lovely to know I have such great friends! x

My life (and love)

Whenever I talk to people about my blog I usually tell them that I'm not a consistently deep blogger - I generally go for a 1 in 5 or 6 ratio Depth vs Shallow Ramblings. This is an attempt at the '1 in 5'...

The past few weeks have felt like a lot of hard work. I've felt slightly out of it for a while. I dunno if it's tiredness or stress or what. If I'm really honest it's all affected me quite deeply. My relationship with Chell is affected - nothing really bad but it puts us under even more strain than the distance already gives us. I led worship at Youth Councils on Sunday and simply didn't feel up for it, although I did try. It feels like my faith in God is under strain - maybe I'm trying to be honest with where I'm at. I'm quite untrusting of nearly every friendship I have - and I'm feeling a bit jealous of others, not something I'm proud to admit. It feels like I've 'reached the end of my hoarded resources' as that old army song says...

Went to cell group last night...it was fantastic - we talked about love. Three kinds of love as written about in the original hebrew (in Song of Songs. Raya translated as 'Friend or companion. Someone you hang out with', Ahava translated as 'a love that impacts your will. An emotion that leads to commitment', Dod translated as 'the physical, sexual element to a relationship'). It started me thinking about the kind of love I have in my life - the kind of love I have for Chell, for my family and my friends. And what kind of remedy should I seek when the love I have isn't as pure as it should be?

So I read Galatians 5...

'But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.'

I scared myself when I realised just how many elements of that fruit I'm not displaying in my life. Is the life I lead compatible with this? Does stress and tiredness get in the way of a right relationship with God? And each other?

Grape Expectations - Harvest Time! - Part 1

So after months of growing and waiting and watering and waiting and growing and pruning and waiting and watering and loving and waiting here they are! The finished product! The result of my loves and labours! A prime example of grapes from the Mashbury vineyard.

This photo was taken by the lovely Chell who has helped me and supported me throughout the past months - the joys and the sorrows of growing ones own fruit in a maritime climate as opposed to the Mediterranean climate of the vineyard regions of France and Italy. (I am the one holding the scissors)

I would like to say at this point that if you would like to claim a bunch of Mashbury grapes then please let me know and you can have some. Obviously if I'm seeing you in the next week or so they'll be a lot more tasty and fresh (They're already VERY ripe and quite soft)


Please see below for a couple more parts of the final chapter of the vine saga for 2006...

Grape Expectations - Harvest Time! - Part 2

Here I am post 'snip' - surprisingly still looking reasonably comfortable and happy!! This is my best 'Mr Gumby' pose modelling the fantastic bunch of grapes as featured in part 1. Don't say I never talk about anything of any depth on my blog eh!?

Grape Expectations - Harvest Time! - Part 3

And...here I am busily washing the grapes in the sink to get all the bugs and dead leaves off them (yeah there were some bugs - but not too many and they're washed off now :)


So all in all a fantastic grape experience all round - my expectations were most definitely met and exceded by far... I would value your comments on this exciting series on my blog!

The Leeder Birthday Calculator (Patent Pending)

Without wishing to spin this out some of you will know that I was 27 last week… All of a sudden I feel like I am becoming a man! And as the relentless toll of the years gently yet insistently draws me into my 30s I’m starting to realise I’m not a teenager anymore. And that sucks!

The purpose of this blog is to aid all of those who find themselves in a similar position to me and is particularly relevant to those who were born in 1979 (like me) or 1980. I hereby announce my invention of a valuable tool which will prove to be incredibly useful for people born in one of those two years and, although I have realised this now for many years, I think it is likely that I am the first person ever to blog about it. Ever.

As I said earlier, the years do have a habit of marching onwards and one problem this brings with it is an increased occurrence of the odd ‘Senior Moment’. Now, many of you will I’m sure be thinking “Why the heck is Matt, who is 27 yrs old, blogging about suffering from senior moments” many others will be thinking “What’s a senior moment” and still others will not actually be thinking at all… Well, in answer to the first group of people I promise you I do have the odd moment and even now at my tender age I have a habit of forgetting my age!

So this tool I promise will help those of us born in ’79 and ’80 to remember our age FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES! Awesome eh? Even the inevitable onslaught of senility cannot defeat us with this bad boy under our belt!

Now I have spun this out quite far enough. Here, with no further a due, is my patent pending Birthday Calculator.

My ‘creation’ allows the ‘user’ I take the two digit number at the start of any given ‘year’ and the two digit number at the end of the ‘year’ and add them together. Then for the rest of my life I will know what my age will be on New Years Day of that year. i.e. This year is 2006. Thus 20 + 06 means I was 26 on 01/01/06 hence it is my 27th birthday during that year.

If you were born in 1980 then this works for any year also but the answer it gives you is the age you will be on your birthday that year – some would say this, what I like to call the “birthcalc v 1.2 formulas”, is even better!

So, for you thickies, here’s another example. In 2076 my ears won’t work, my eyes will have fallen out and my brain will be running on 3% power hence I will have a terrible memory and won’t even be able to see my diary. However, I will simply recall my Birthday Calculator formula and hey presto – I will know that on New Years day that year I am 96 (20 + 76)! I will be 97 that year!

So there you go - as you can see it is faultless (unless I live to 120 – I plan not to).

A few short updates...

After the mega long last post here is some light relief in the form of a few short updates...

Got back from Italy yesterday (hence such a long break in posting) - we travelled home on my birthday and it was a long day of not doing very much - Chell has been really sad about it today... it's funny how she is more protective of me having a lovely birthday than I am. It's so nice to feel loved and cared for by her - especially in her protectiveness. She's just off out buying some stuff for our breakfast (Yeah, I know it's 10:30 - call it brunch!)

Today we're travelling up to see our friends Will and Debbie - we're also going to meet baby Katie for the first time ever. Something that we are both very happy about doing - but most especially Chell!

I am also very happy because I have just downloaded iTunes 7 and they have sorted out the issue with iPods leaving gaps between each song - now you can listen to an entire album with no gap between each track. This has been my biggest bugbear for using my iPod over the past 9 months so well done Apple!

Oh and the grapes are looking great!

A long trip to sow some seeds

It's taken me a while to get round to blogging about this but at last I have arrived at my keyboard with some time on my hands. I am in fact going to recount a story about an experience I was party to that occurred last Friday. Brace yourself - it's a long one! Long enough even to rival some of Glyn's lengthier efforts! (Ha!) Along with me were Jon and Paul - the other members of the band I'm in* - hereafter referred to as E=...

(*please note that event and person specifics have been changed to partially mask what actually occurred...and make this post less 'searchable' on Google...)

The story in fact begins late on Thursday night...

All along it had been our plan to make a trip over to Northern Ireland to gig at a festival there. The organiser of the festival, called 'Lara' Festival (sic), promised us a decent gig and decent pay so who were we to turn it down? Our flights were booked for 8:25 on Saturday morning to fly from Stansted to Belfast International but on Thursday night we (i.e. Paulo) discovered that due to the current security level of our airports we needed to arrive at check in a whole 3 HOURS before the flight! So we were already looking at 5:25! I ended up getting up at 4:30 (bleugh) and we arrived at the airport at 6 ish - which was fine. In fact, when you weigh this up against the rest of the day - it was perfect!

The flights went without a hitch (relatively - my bag had to have a full cavity search because apparently my guitar pedals and cables look like a 'device'...hmmm....!?) and when we arrived at Belfast we met our man. His name for the purposes of this illustration is Cliff. At this point he didn't seem too detached from reality.

So we chucked our stuff into the back of this big minibus and went to pick up the other band who we were meant to be playing the gig with that night. We met them without a hitch and off we drove in our bus. Us 3 + Cliff + the bus driver + 4 in the other band (hereafter called Freeslave - for that is in fact their name!)

Now, to be fair, until this point nothing out of the ordinary had happened (apart from Levski's hair which I swear I saw moving... it was almost as if his head had been abducted by a colony of long haired fallow rats from the planet Zipplewig). Aside from the long journey (it was by now 12 noon) and lack of food (it was by now 12 noon) things were fairly normal - until we turned into the carpark of a small-ish church in Portadown. This church was actually a Portacabin, which I thought was entertaining given it's address. It was at this point that 'Cliff' uttered those fateful words... "Guys, we'll just swing by here to see if they've got any equipment you might find useful for tonight". At this point small bells started ringing in all of our ears. Equipment? We didn't know what 'equipment' he meant - nor did we know what equipment was already at the venue... so we followed him in...

To be confronted by the smallest guitar amp you ever saw; I think it was a Stagg practise amp. Certainly not one for a stage as the main guitar amp for a rock band. Alongside this were various odds and ends – bits of PA system, a brand new budget drum kit (no cases, factory heads i.e. nasty) and for cymbals a Sabian Solar budget pack consisting of paperweight crash, featherweight ride, and flycatcher hi-hats (that’s all they were good for).

A bit of clarification is probably needed at this point – you see we’re certainly not musical snobs, nor are we arrogant good-for-nothing muppets… our maxim on gigs is that we are always on hand to serve the event, but we also knew how much this guy was paying to have us there hence we wondered why he would think gear like this was appropriate…?

So we picked up a few bits of PA, a keyboard for Freeslave and the ‘drum kit’ but left guitar amp less and bass amp less. Paul and I guessed they must be at the venue already?

On we drive – down the road to Armagh our home for the night and the town of our gig. We arrive and it’s at this point that we start to realise this day is going to get worse before it gets better. The venue is a posh, new-ish bistro situated within the towns art centre. No sign of any more PA, or amps, or anything. We load in the PA, keyboard and drums into the corner of the bistro which is currently hosting lots of smart looking people around well set tables sitting eating, chatting, quietly and smiling even…

“Uh, Cliff, are you sure?” … “Of course, of course, why it’s the best venue in the town…” etc

We’re dropped off at our hotel. It’s nice – 3 star. We find our rooms but not before double taking (and eventually comprehending correctly) the bell boy; speaking to us in thick Irish tones “Arr yoo tha two gays in the double room?”...

In a nutshell (I realise I’m spinning this out – don’t want to miss anything) during the afternoon Jon and I visited the local music shop – the same bell boy said it had a “lethal selection of guitars” which turned out in fact to be 7 guitars, none of them with a price tag exceeding £40. The shop was filled with cardboard and after the bored shopkeeper guessed and announced that we weren’t ‘local’ we turned heel and left ‘Twilight Zone Guitars Inc’. We also visited Armagh City Shopping Centre which consisted of a lingerie boutique, 12 empty shop spaces and a spar shop. Awesome.

The plan for the evening at ‘Lara’ Fest was a film premiere (made by some of the team – apparently with a budget of £250,000 ??? – tried for distribution at the Cannes Film Festival – failed) followed by a DJ set (really nice guy called DJ Barry (sic)) followed by, at 9pm a set from Freeslave and ourselves.

Upon returning back to the venue to tune drums we had half expected a full PA rig and guitar / bass amps to be there especially as it was by now 4:30, the film started in 30 mins (and thus the evening’s programme). Jon, Guinness in hand, is starting the lengthy and awkward process of tuning drums in a posh restaurant...this is bad...very bad...

Now, at this point it's important to mention that throughout the day we had been in contact with our friends from the band Dave (sic) who at this point called up and very kindly offered their PA and their gear! When we mentioned this to Cliff he said it was an “answer to prayer” – I’m sure most major Christian Festivals rely on prayer but in quite a different way to this… I ended up outside on the phone to this guy Paddy Quinn (real name – brilliant!) to chat about PA and stuff. He said he’d arrive at around 9pm (that is the same 9pm that we needed to start the gig) but as it was the best offer we had it would have to do...

When I walked back into the Bistro I found Jon and Paul, who I’d previously left sitting at the bar, sitting at a table looking slightly shell shocked. Apparently since I was outside they had been started on by a drunk Irish bloke at the bar with the immortal line “….Hey, yooow, stop farting in miy prwesence…no, seriously, F*** Off…” - hence their new location away from the unhinged bloke at the bar. (Paul wasn’t sure if he had indeed let one off or not – they though it was best to back down just incase)

Cliff offered to pay for our dinner at the Bistro, dunno where he’s getting all this money from, but first we decide to go outside to the Cathedral gates and pray; for the day, for the gig, and for the unsure sense of fear that was building up in us. So we stood and prayed for 20 mins, said our Amen’s but as we turned to walk back in this drunk guy appears (another one) and shouts after us “…Yeah, Yooou keep walkin’…” What is it with this gig? We decide to skedaddle inside ASAP.

Upon arriving back at the Bistro a bouncer has arrived who, just after we sit down to eat, promptly ejects the drunk bloke who had followed us down the hill from the Cathedral and into the bar. Awesome mini tussle ensues – don’t remember this happening at Spring Harvest, or even the Bull and Gate for that matter…

So to cut a long story slightly shorter the PA finally arrives at 9:45pm – Freeslave go ‘onstage’ at 10:45pm we go onstage at about 11:45 and play til 12:30. Cliff kindly allows us to walk through the high street carrying our guitars and bags – feeling slightly scared but much relieved that the worst of it is nearly over.

It’s funny looking back now that there weren’t any posters for Lara Festival anywhere inside or outside the venue – nor anything with the names of the bands until the venue asked us what our names were so they could put them up on a chalk board outside (nothing to do with Cliff). The punters were primarily normal people who had come in for a drink and just happened to end up watching the bands play – there were about 25 people there – none of them knew they were attending ‘Lara Festival’. No tickets sold. No one coming along. How is this thing still running?

It’s now 1:15am – we’ve been up since 4:30am – we are knackered. We walk into the hotel to discover a blues band in full swing downstairs (under mine and Levski’s room) – they don’t stop playing half-cut bad guitar and drum solos until 2:30am when they finally shut up and we…drift…off…to…sleep…

TO BE WOKEN UP AT 9AM BY A BLUMMIN’ MARCHING BAND GOING PAST OUR WINDOW – FOLLOWED BY ANOTHER – AND ANOTHER! Unbelievable!

It has to be said the rest of the day was fairly normal (breakfast, trip home, much story telling to ensue) apart from one thing… just before we left Cliff took us to one side to chat through payment for the weekend. He explained his side of it (having paid £450 for our flights, £130 for our hotel rooms, £100 for our backline (oh you mean the backline that we organised once we got here Cliff?) but we agreed on a figure quickly and he pulled out the cheque book – and promptly signed and counter signed (i.e. forged!) the cheque in front of us! This guy is unreal! He then went to the hotel desk and did the same again… we had to get away…

So we’re all packed into the bus and Cliff clambers on to give us some final words of wisdom. “Guys, you’ve sowed some seeds. See you later.” And off he goes… Cheers Cliff…

The last few weeks

The last few weeks have been very busy indeed but the end is in sight – a week from now I will be on holiday and a week and 3 days from now Chell, myself, Matt W and Christina will be in Italy! Horray! It will be molto buono!

The past few weeks have been really tiring – especially with fitting in work for the SA in between the E= gigs. The busy thing has also meant of course that I’ve been lapse on keeping my blog up to date – for which I apologise. However, I have compiled a collection of short anecdotes and updates from the previous few weeks to fill in all the blanks in my life (if only!)

GRAPE UPDATE – the grapes are still growing but I must admit I haven’t been caring for them as perhaps I should have been. However I’m sure they will still do just fine without me!

BACK UPDATE – (see post a few down) My back is still hurting a bit. I guess part of that is because I haven’t really given it a chance to heal very well since damaging it (we keep playing all these gigs and lifting heavy equipment around – not a good plan for a bad back).

SUMMER SCHOOLS – we’ve now finished our rounds of the summer schools. We visited four in total, the last one being last night down in the Vinehall School nr Battle with the Central South division. Though what they were doing in East Sussex remains a mystery!?! The summer season has been really amazing this year. We’ve met so many people and really been blown away by the stuff we’ve experienced and the places we’ve been privileged to visit. Here’s to the next season of E= - which starts when we get back from our holidays in mid September. But there’s three more gigs to do between now and then…

FIANCE UPDATE – Chell is still my fiancé. J

That’s about it really – obviously that last point is the most important one!

Hope to do some proper updating on the blog again really soon…inconsistency frustrates me just as much as the next man or woman!

Public Information Statement

Many weeks back I was phoned at DHQ by a gentleman who was incharge of booking guests for Territorial Music School - they wanted to book me to come during the week and lead a bit of worship. Remember at this point that I was in the presence of witnesses during this phonecall (i.e. Matt White and others in the office). Here is a paraphrase of the conversation:

TMS rep: "Hi Matt, can you come and visit us on this day...[gives date]
Me: "Oh, wait a sec, I'll just check my diary [checks diary]...oh dear, sorry. I would have loved to have come along but I am actually in France that week so no can do.
TMS rep: "Oh that is a shame. Sorry to hear that. Nevermind, maybe next year?"
Matt: "Sure"
TMS rep: "Ok. Goodbye and God bless"
Matt: "Bye"

So, that was that. All done and dusted... no tentative "maybe", no "oh I'll pencil it in and get back to you", just a straight forward "sorry, no can do"...

So imagine my overwhelming surprise when I start hearing reports from people who attended TMS this year saying that my name was in the program and that people were really disappointed when I didn't turn up? In fact, I also get the impression that no attempt was made to cover my back at all...even though I had said no in the first place and the ERROR WAS NOT MINE!

So, in closing, if you speak to anyone who went to TMS and they bemoan my inefficient diarising please make my side of the story (i.e. the true side) known.

Busy days

This week is crazy - feeling a bit run down actually. We've been playing at Newday Festival with Paul Oakley a few times over the past 6 days. So I've been up and down the M1 (normally in the rain!) - here is my plan from the last few days.

• Drove up last Wed night played on Thurs morning
• Drove back Thurs afternoon.
• Fri rode around all day with Matt W picking up stuff for the LNE summer school. Stayed at home Fri night.
• Went to Summer School Sat morning stayed til the quiz in the evening then left for Uttoxeter again at 9:45.
• Yesterday led worship in the morning with Paul, Electralyte gigged in the afternoon, led worship again with Paul in the evening and drove home. Got to bed at 1:30...

Now I'm at home but leaving for Summer School again shortly... and we're at Rocknations in Bradford on Saturday...I'm gonna miss the final day :(

If you get a chance please spare a prayer for myself and the other Electralyte boys as we galivant around.

Jump! Part 1

I wanted to blog about this as soon as I could. I've just returned home from a week of gigging in the south of France - hence I haven't blogged for a little while (Sorry about that if you've wasted time checking - I know I hate that myself...)

What a fantastic week! I've not really enjoyed France like I did this week - I suppose that's partly due to making some great friends during the week - both English and French people... To be honest we didn't have too intense a week at all - 2 sessions leading worship and a gig one night were the only work commitments we had to fulfill - the rest was leisure time for us!

So we found outselves at a beautiful, clean river in the village nearby (that's how we knew we weren't in Essex anymore) - and promptly started chucking ourselves into it from rocks. See the piccy:


I gradually gained confidence throughout the week - starting off on little jumps on the waters edge. The sheer awe of emerging without any latex sausages on my fingers encouraged me to carry on and up the anti a bit... I progressed to a 3 footer (wooo!) then 10 feet high (woooooo!) then 20 feet high (steady on!)...then we changed venues to a different river where I knew at once that the gauntlet had been placed before me! The picture above is a snap shot of me doing a little jump at the second riverside venue...

If you look really carefully you can see my life flashing before my eyes...

Jump! Part 2

It's almost possible to get a bit religious about this - things are so different with context afterall... so without further ado here is the bigger picture!

Those cliffs are about 80 feet high and I jumped from about 55 feet, or something like that. It is officially one of the scariest things I have done to myself...


Unfortunately I landed a bit badly and duffed in my back - so I've been grimmacing every time I get up ever since the jump (yesterday afternoon!) but apparently there's nothing too wrong with me and I should be up and at 'em again really soon... and I know I would be disappointed if I hadn't done it at all. I just hope that when I shut my eyes tonight I don't keep seeing a video replay of falling through mid air into the dark blue abyss! It was terrifying and fantastic all at the same time!

Thing is people were jumping from the top as well, the fools! Now I don't feel such a hardman afterall...

Grape Expectations - update

Ok, so fair enough I've been a bit lapse with the whole vine check thing again. Very sorry - in an effort to redeem myself I have taken this photo this evening on my return from France (see other posts for more info on France...)

Hopefully you will enjoy the picture below - it wasn't actually dark when I took the picture but the flash went off and made the sky look darker than it was...


The grapes are growing nicely - a couple of weeks back I gave them a good prune with Roland and Joan (Chell's Mum and Dad) and it seems to have done the trick. You've got to be cruel to be kind to these bad vino boys and girls! The grapes in the picture are about the size of my middle fingernail - so, those of you who know my fingernails well will have a great idea of scale now.

Sorry I've not blogged in a while peeps - there was no internet connection over in France. However, I've got loads of blog ideas now so I hope I can find time to get them all down!

Bad Night

I had a nightmare last night; in the old fashioned sense of the word. Can't really remember what it was about in detail but it certainly included some kind of werewolves or big nasty dogs. So, I woke up and laid there wide awake for a little while whilst I got myself back together.

Next a fly woke me up by landing in my ear. So I tried to kill it and missed...so he kept waking me up periodically throughout the rest of the night.

And then I woke up before my alarm because the sun shone through my window and tried to cook me in my quilt.

All in all - it was a bad night.

About music...

I've decided to conduct an experiment. Normally when I write a blog I am very careful and measured about what I say (and don't say) - but I thought it would be interesting to write a blog as-I-think-it! Thinking out loud so to speak. So I thought I would write it on music - which is one of my greatest loves and favourite talking points...here goes...

Why do I like music? I don't know. I know I like a good groove - well, I like music with a fat beat. Like Chemical Brothers in the olden days - or Propellerheads. But then I also like music with no beat - like, The Planets by Holst and loads of stuff by Tchaikovsky and Bach... to be honest music is really confusing in general. What is the attraction for us?

Have you ever really thought about what music is? Why does it connect with us so well? Why is it so immotive? Isn't it just a string of notes and chords and rhythms? Why is Dm the saddest key? Why does an F maj7 sound so lush? (Well, I think it does) Why does 4/4 keep cropping up again and again?

I love to play guitar - I love turing up my amps and gain and letting it ring and resonate and feedback on forever. Little licks that just have that certain something; it's not about looking good in front of people but just allowing the music to come to life. I suppose that's a defining factor of music...it's art, alive... Music as art needs time for it to make sense - otherwise there's no music; just an overblown orchestra hit of every note coming and spanking you in the face at once. Very uncomfortable!

By the questions still remain - why do I like it? Why do believe in music? I don't know - I'm never going to know. But that doesn't change the fact that music makes my heart race and my hands sweat; music makes me cry on the M25; music makes me furious and inspires me and calls me on.

Life would be monochrome without a soundtrack...

A review...

Just a quick blog 'cos I really need to go to bed - but if you have five minutes to spare please check this out - and if you have a further 5 minutes please do write a comment (at the bottom of the article) to back us up again!

Obviously it's great to read some positive reviews of the 'E=' album; we need more and more of them, so if you have any ideas on how we can get other decent media streams to review us (CCM or mainstream) that'd be great. Let me know where to chase... or chase for me if you would be so kind as to want to support the band in a practical way!

If you do have time to write a comment it would really benefit us as a band if people (such as CR) know that we have a 'fan base' behind us all the way. It helps us to gain momentum!

Thank you for all your help and support! 

Muso Loso

I hate it when people do things just to try and impress you. Like, when I went I started college to do Music and Theology we had these orientation sessions. We went round the room and introduced ourselves. Thankfully, now I have the gift of hindsight, I KNOW that there were people in that room DESPERATE to impress - reeling off instrument after instrument. One girl said she could play piano, guitar, flute, violin, cello, drums, bass guitar, sax and trumpet. Well, I can say that I did the course with her and she was lying. I knew at the time she was lying...just because you can sit with drum sticks in your hands doesn't mean you can play the things! In fact, she would have been much more accurate to say I 'mainly' play the piano or something...

Lack of punctuation indicates grumpiness whilst typing this blog...

Ben Folds' message to the church

Although it is in my collection I haven't really listened very much to the newest Ben Folds album 'Songs for Silverman'. When I have listened to it a song entitled 'Jesusland' has caught my attention a couple of times...

Today I discovered an interview with Ben Folds in which he explains a little bit of his thinking behind 'Jesusland':

'...but you see the name 'Jesusland' and you think “wow, this is going to be a heavy song” but it’s just a little bit sad. The crux of it is that if Jesus were around now he wouldn’t have much stuff. And that’s a problem in today’s ‘amusement park’ version of Jesusland; you can’t walk around with no stuff, or you’re homeless, you’re walking around on the street. So he’d be walking around homeless on the street with long hair, and I don’t really think that the people that make lots of money off of his name would do much to help him.'

Ouch!

An article to comment on...

If you get a chance please check this out; you might find it interesting?

You may or may not remember that I once had a little moan about this magazine - he even mentions it in the interview!

There's opportunity to leave a comment at the bottom of the article too - hint hint! :D

Chris Spring Gig - Leicester Sqr - 29th June

If you can make it it would be great to see you at the Chris Spring gig tomorrow night. As I've blogged before (Thurs May 11th) Chris Spring is a genius singer / songwriter. If you managed to make it to the engagement party then it's likely you will have Chris perform a few of his songs there.

Well, this is your chance to hear him play his songs with a full band (featuring Electralyte's very own awesome drum meister - big Jon Mitson)

Just print out the ticket below and you'll get in for £5 instead of £6! I look forward to seeing you there...

Spiritual home; where are yooooou?

Chell and I are asking a lot of questions regarding church at the moment; more specifically which church should we go to?

Yesterday we attended the Oasis church in Chelmsford, part of the New Frontiers church network. We’ve been to Oasis once before and both times we’ve found it to be a really friendly church experience…which was helped on our first visit because we had friends there in the congregation. Yesterday was slightly different because we didn’t know as many people – but still, the reception we received was warm and the church meeting was cool. The speaker (church leader, Phil) spoke on their mission as a church. He referred to Acts 1 where Jesus says ‘you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, Judea, Samaria and to the ends of the earth’ and related this to local, cross-cultural, and long-distance (missionary type) mission.

We left the meeting happy – but still keen to hear God more; especially with regard to where he wants us to be!?

So, the day continued and we found ourselves at Chelmsford Citadel Salvation Army where we sat down with the corps to watch the football – followed by which Matt (White) led the meeting – with a special focus on the youth of the corps. I know its passé but it really is amazing how much more passionate everyone was about the football! If I was to speak bluntly and impartially I would say that it even appears that nobody really believes that strongly in God at all (obviously I’m sure this isn’t the case – it’s just how it comes across).

After that we packed up and went to Carus. Carus is a tiny little congregation that meets once a month (which you’re welcome to come along to by the way – then it won’t be so tiny) – we sing songs and talk about God. Last night was different because we prayed for each other too! ;-) Ok, so it’s fledgling; and it’s tiny; and it’s designed and run by Matt and myself (so I’d always look for the best in it) but last night was cool – we sang to God, he met with us, we all had a chat, and a drink then we came home.

So that was the day – and we’re still searching. I’ll leave you with a few questions – as well as my up-til-now conclusions; but please feel free to chip in some wisdom…we need it!

Q1: Should we go to Oasis? We could do – it’s a nice place but… we both feel (probably more myself than Chell) that our place is in The Salvation Army; especially when most of the worship leading I do is in an ‘Army’ context. I believe it is my responsibility to stick with it. After all, 90% of the time I still believe that God has a plan for the SA all the time. :-)

Q2: Should we go to Chelmsford Citadel? It will be hard work, I’m sure of that. But it’s local and it’s the Salvation Army, and lots of our friends go there…

Q3: Should we start our own church? Or ask if we can plant a new congregation within Chelmsford Cit? Or move and spend our lives church hopping – trying every week to find the perfect church, and every other week discovering that it doesn’t exist?

Q4: Should we say stuff it all – come out of the church (not God, just the church - it never really works anyway does it?) We’ll both move to Italy where we will renovate dilapidated property and grow olives and grapes for the rest of our lives.

Matt & Chell's Engagement Party - 17th June 06

I've posted a few photos from the engagement party - thank you to everyone who came along and made the day so much fun. Didn't really mean to take so long to blog about it but unfortunately I kept putting it off. Sorry.

I thought this would be a good starting shot - it is a bit of a taster shot of quite a lot of people all at once...can you spot yourself?

Chef Lard

Lloyds garnishing secrets revealed

Chell

Chell looking beautiful

"As long as I gaze on waterloo sunset...do doo doo"

He you can clearly see Ben Jackson distracting Glyn, Mike and Dave and attempting to start a rival sing along. Dave seems to be catching on but Glyn is clearly much more interested in the camera...

Fight fight fight!

Here we see a few moments before it all kicked off... Nik has just said a few very unkind remarks about gingers. Obviously Debbie thinks it's all just a big joke but Will knows it's no laughing matter...

 

Chell and Me

Having a little word (i.e. snog) with my beautiful fiance

 

Music on a Summer's Evening

The audience enjoying the dulcet tones of Chris Spring and The Resonance

 

Ladies

Here are some of the lovely female guests all stuck together. Someone mentioned 'Glastonbury' and they brought their favourite tent - complete with sunroof! Lovely!

 

Music maestro

The musos: Chris Spring, Jonathan Mitson and, special guest, The Resonance.

Grape Expectations: the Friday (aka Sunday) Vine Check - wk 3

Sorry for the late Grape Expectations vino fans - Chell and I were busy preparing for our Engagement party (which I'll blog about tomorrow)...so please be assured that these photos were taken on Friday but I've only just got round to actually writing the blog 'bit'.


As you can see the vine is growing up big and strong...in fact it's probably a little too big and stong, and will need pruning in the very near future if I'm going to get grapes of a decent girth! Also, upon close inspection it would seem that the Mashbury phantom rose bush eater has also been taking chunks out of my grape vine - I think it's a herd of deer who hang around these parts - bunch of local yobs! They keep seeing my vine and obviously think it's a tasty, tasty treat...

So all in all the vine is growing from strength to strength but if I ever get my hands on those pesky deer then there'll be a bit more rib for the BBQ!

Remember: Meat is murder... tasty, tasty murder (kudos Lard ;) 

*flap *flap *flap

I currently have two pigeons trying to mate outside my window - it is very off putting

Dominos Pizza

So Chell and I decided to have pizza last night. As we were round at hers we decided to go online and visit the Dominos website (a fantastic invention if you ask me)

We ordered our pizza: a medium double decadance Cheese and Tomato, medium Ham and Pineapple and Chicken Strippers side... then we sat down to wait. For all you fans of other Pizza places I would like to state that the reason I like Dominos so much is because of their cool little pots of gak that you dip into - a most excellent addition to any meal!

Now Dominos pizza doesn't normally take much time but this one seemed to take an age. We must have waited a good 45 minutes but when we had nearly given up hope (and our movie was nearly over) there was a sudden ring on the door bell.

I collected my wallet and upon opening the door I met a smiley little Dominos guy with his bag of yummy goodness. I promptly took the bag and handed over the money. At this point I need to say that our pizza came to the grand sum of £23.97 - a meal fit for a king!

Here's the crazy bit - I handed over £30: a £20 and a £10. He handed me back a £5 and a £1 coin, smiled at me and said "I don't have the '3', sorry" then he turned heal and walked off! He didn't even wait for my blessing upon his lack of funds! He just left me standing there! Madness.

My question is this... what if he hadn't of had the £1 or the fiver? Would he have just walked off then? Who draws the line under this kind of cheekiness? When does it stop? How much does he make in these 'special gratuities' each week? How long is it going to be before we have pizza guys turning up on our doorsteps and saying: "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't bring your pizza, but can you pay me double anyway?"

And the funniest thing is - I still like Dominos pizza!

Grape Expectations: the Friday Vine Check - wk 2

Vine Check week 2.

The vine is still growing well - it seems to be enjoying the sunshine and I watered it a bit the other day.

Something very exciting has started to happen over the past two weeks; tiny little bunches of grapes have start to form all over the vine. It's kind of strange that I'm surprised by this - I guess I just expected the grapes just to appear! How wrong I was! In the photo I have tried to capture a couple of these mini bunches of grapes. Bear in mind that they are very small, about the size of your thumbnail. Just in case it's not very clear there is a bunch in focus in the middle and below and to the right there is another bunch which is slightly out of focus...


Next week on Friday vine check I will check for signs of pests and see if I can catch any of them hard at work...then I shall punish them 

Adiemus

If you haven't already delved into the Adiemus music composed by Karl Jenkins then I suggest you do. I was inspired to post a 'call to Jenkins' whilst listening to the second album (he's done four). It is truely incredible music!

A good place to start is the first album(!): Adiemus I - Songs of Sanctuary. The first track is the original Adiemus composition - quite a famous piece of music. However, the final track is slightly less mainstream. Entitled 'Hymn'; it is possibly one the most beautiful pieces of music ever written. Simply lush!

Ciao ciao!

Today in preparation for our holiday to the Italian Lakes in September Mr White and I went to Waterstones. (Let me add at this point that Matt’s wife Christina and my fiancé Chell will be coming with us - prompted by a healthy fear of the rumour mill’s well-oiled cogs)!

So with heads held aloft we proudly walked to the languages section in order to search for a ‘Learn Italian’ course…and what a selection there was to sift through! The shelves bowed at the weight of row upon row of Italian workbooks, phrase books, audio CDs, interactive PC programs and even tapes! Tapes for goodness sake! Now that’s old school!

After much deliberation we decided to purchase two sets – one an early learning set…to learn a few phrases and the other an Italian conversation set…both with CDs and little books.

On the journey back to the office we popped the CD in the player and entered a time warp: Ooo, those close-miked, breathy vocals… Eeek, the dodgy BBC effect library sounds… Alas, a weak attempt at some kind of plot (you’d rather they hadn’t bothered at all!)… and the final straw, characters which are far too easy to hate! It’s amazing how quickly you can be transported back to GCSE language classes!!

I wonder if all Italians talk to you in such close proximity that it feels like your ear drums are being polished by their teeth? I know for certain that I can’t wait to find out…

Grape Expectations: the Friday Vine Check - wk 1

The first in a fascinating series! As you will see below our first visit to the grape vine at Mashbury is a brief overview of the vine itself. I pruned it viciously at the end of February and now I am happy to report (and you will see quite clearly) that it is covered in lovely green leaves!

There are the first signs of little bunches of grapes forming in patches but I have been reliably informed that I need to thin the patches out if I am going to have a good healthy crop come late summer. In coming episodes of grape expectations I intend to show close ups of the grapes themselves and also feature any visitors to my plant. Fantastic eh?

I am fairly convinced that there isn't a more creative bloggist in the whole of Mashbury! 

Just grape

Time goes fast in the world of Blog. It seems like only yesterday that I was writing my blog from Sweden but it turns out it was almost a week ago!

A few thoughts from today... the 1st of June! Sunshine a plenty! Not a cloud in the sky! Pimms in the garden! Or alternatively... erm, where's the summer? I would like to pose that question - and I don't really need an answer I just need results! ...because one day soon I would like it to get hot.

I (possibly more than anyone else in the world) have good cause to see the sun to shine forth in power. Today marks the beginning of an exciting new series on my blog - Grape Expectations: the Friday Vine Check. As a new feature, each Friday from now until October I will post a photograph of the grape vine in my garden. Of course it will only grow if the sun gets his hat on! During the check I will draw attention to the garden parasites which my vine has hosted that week, the colour and health of the leaves and the increasing girth of my grapes! Roll on haemorrhoid jokes aplenty! Ha ha ha!

In conclusion I have added a picture of the finished product - just so we all know what we're striving for...

Da Vinci must be rolling in his triangular grave

Tonight is a bit special for me for I am in Stockholm, SWEDEN! I feel very special indeed for I am sitting on my bed in my hotel room, I have managed to piggy-back on someone's network and I am blogging! I feel so... so...*pause to identify correct word* cosmopolitan!

Anyway, enough of that. Even though I feel like I'm in the Bourne Identity or something I must concentrate on getting the job done then I must go to sleep...

The other day Chell and I went to see The Da Vinci Code. I haven't blogged about it yet because I wanted to mull it over for a while. At first I didn't feel that my thoughts we straight enough but as time has passed they haven't really straightened. At this point I would love to have the ability and inclination to launch into an all out offensive against the message of the movie. I wish that I was more fired up. I wish I could furiously elucidate and eradicate every little piece of heresy the film covers. I wish, in fact, that I really felt anything at all...

You see, the problem with the Da Vinci Code is it is simply a dull movie. Taken out of the context of the book the plot is slow to unfold, the scripting is weak and cliched, and the acting unfortunately matches up perfectly to the script! By the end of the movie we finally discover ("ooOOooh!") that Jesus was married and ("ooOOooh!") that Mary Magdalene's tomb still exists...but by the time it got there, well, I was more concerned with the fact that my jelly babies had run out.

The film has all the potential of a genuine blockbuster in it's own right, but it seems to have been derailed in a most incredibly lame way... in fact, you get the feeling that if the film had been produced without the notoriety of the book coming first it would have been sniggered at and passed by as 'just another lame church bashing flick' (just like that 'gay Jesus' film someone made a couple of years ago).

The Sun newspaper published a headline asking if The Da Vinci Code marked 'the death of the Catholic Church'? Well, I sincerely doubt that a film this below-par could even deal out a convincing graze on the Pope's aged knee...

The illustrated adventures of Electralyte

So a fairly bizarre thing happened today - Jon arrived at our rehearsal today with a hand drawn picture. This one in fact:

What a cool picture eh? Apparently an Electralyte fan drew this and gave it to Jon during the week - I dunno if it was a school project or something? Either way I can't quite believe that someone would spend such a loooong time drawing a picture of us!

Quite frankly, it makes me very happy to be immortalised in a pencil drawing. If only Tony Hart still had that gallery thing...

(If you want to view the original picture to cross reference then please click here) 

Adventures with Tigers

Quick announcement; James Vigurs has rejoined the world of blog! Please make it a blogging priority to visit his blog here or click the link or the right...

A bit about James. I met him doing a course in Theology, Music and Worship at London School of Theology (when I was there it was London Bible College). First and foremost he's a great man of God; living out faith in a really earthy way with no unnecessary airs and graces, secondly he's a great musician (sax, guitar, keys, mongolian nose-flute, etc), & thirdly he's a quality friend with good stuff to speak into the blog community!

One last thing; his surname is pronounced Vai-gurs as in 'Tigers'. Just so we're clear...

Big Brother? Why bother?

Big Brother needs to go. I am fed up with the annual trash onslaught which I am spoon-fed and forced to endure each time our TV screens display that stupid 'eye' and Davina McCall pregnant with her 15th child...grrr...

I have three issues... firstly, I don't understand how we haven't got bored of it? How are the masses always sucked into the mindless drivel - 14 people either sitting and chatting about nothing or just carrying out another 'shocking' (really?) task which now inevitably always involves 1 or 2 of the group getting rewarded and the others penalised in order to set the house-mates against each other even quicker.

My second issue is morality. Big Brother is morally void; is it me or does it operate in a parallel universe where this level of depravity is acceptable? A place where it's ok to mentally smash confused, broken, self-destructive people to smithereens on national TV... A place where it's ok to accept the application of a person with an uncommon neurological syndrome in order for them to become a ratings winner - public domain fodder to be chewed over for a week or two then eventually spat back out... A place where the freaks, the minority, & the deviants are all exploded together as human guinea pigs. So what if they applied? They probably didn't know any better...

My final issue - the final thing I hate is that Big Brother always demands a response... and in that way I've broken my own code of conduct; I myself have been 'sucked in' and can now consider myself, be default, to be 'involved'. Grrrr! I hate Big Brother!

Church

These are indeed changing times - just read Tim's blog and came away from it feeling really positive (Which isn't something I always feel when reading Tim's blog - no offence if you're reading this TM)

Now, I'm not very good at ecclesiological discourse. When I do find myself discussing serious things then I often end up either backed into a corner or losing interest faster than you can say 'Gibson Les P...' *snore*

However, this is my attempt to say something about church which isn't too stupid so as to lose all the brainy people and isn't too wacko as to lose all the thick people. Today I read some words of a well respected ecclesiologist (I can't remember his name - I am not a facts & figures man... never have been never will be) who said something like:

Church happens when Worship, Community and Mission are all found happening together in the same place

Be warned, that is a paraphrase, but the three key words are the ones he used. And I agree - which for the sake of this blog is a good thing... I like a few things about the statement: I like the simplicity; I like the accessibility; I like the applicability (is that a word?)... Often it seems that a church will major in one area and minor in the two other ones - it seems it's fairly hard to get a good balance? Also it's apparent that those three things work best in synergy with each other. The sum creating a greater whole - that greater whole being called church... that is opposed to 'Our Social Club' or 'Our Action Group' or 'Our Sing_at_the_projector_screen Group'

I love simple things. I believe that often the biggest things can be said in the fewest words. I also believe that the amount of time we give over to discussion is often inversly proportional to the importance of the subject matter. I believe our highest calling is the greatest commandments - outlined handily for us by Jesus in Matthew 22. Essentially love God and look out for and love each other.

The funny thing is we all spend so much time chatting about 'this little theological idiom' and 'that little issue of church style' but every little part of me knows that each and everyday I fail to fulfill the expectations put upon me by those two little commandments....

That is my problem.
Lord, please take broken me...again

Torn City

I've just signed up for something called 'Torn City' (www.torncity.com) It's an online game - kinda like Grand Theft Auto except there's no graphics - it's done like an old fashioned role play game:

You enter the room - a large ginger cat is purring whilst being stroked by an old man sitting on a seat by the fire. There is a clock and a large cactus in a pot by the single window. What do you do?

> Say "hello"

I'm sorry you can't do that

> Walk forwards

I'm sorry you can't do that

> Construct a sling from leg hair

You construct a sling from your leg hair. It stings for a moment...etc...

Well, not quite but... you get the idea! So I'd really like it if you went and joined up on torn city. Eventually once we've all trained and got jobs and big, expensive weapons and done enough crimes and all bought mansions and joined a crime faction together we will take over the entire city and proclaim the freedom and truth of the gospel to one and all!

If you do join let me know! Also, visit www.torncitycentral.com where there is a helpful walkthrough for your first day (to get you started).

And...err...if you don't agree with the idea of Dungeons and Dragons...then this might not be for you...apparently it's pretty addictive. But don't worry - if you need to talk to someone about it I'll be online playing it all night long so give me a shout!

The Cutting Edge

Chell and I are visiting our friends Will & Debbie. We do enjoy visiting W&D but as a general rule we know that something eventful and slightly tragic is almost definitely going to happen. For example, last time we visited my car got written off in a car crash on the journey there...the time before we ended up scaling a mountain via a sheer face of loose shale with no harnesses nor ropes and no mobile signal...

Danger is our middle name; but only when we visit Liverpool it would seem.

Today we went out for a walk. Nothing strenuous mind; afterall, Debbie is 7 months pregnant so we weren't going to go mountain climbing...just a simple walk through a forest in Formby, onto the beach and back to the car. However, I managed to start a chain of events that would lead to disaster as soon as I picked up a nice big stick and decided to whittle it into a walking stick (aka Gandalf Staff) with Will's knife...

Whittle - Whittle - Whittle...it was all going well, until we stopped for a rest, I went to take something off Will and stabbed the knife into my staff... it promptly collapsed, scissoring my right index finger and slicing a nice deep rut. Instant blood - instant panic...

Thankfully Will is a doctor and knew exactly what to do (The fact that Will has repaired the mighty Alan Hanson's finger at Southport A&E in the past filled me with confidence). Tissue and pressure was applied and I made it home in one piece.

So, now, the result is I'm here... typing with 1 less finger... not picking my nose...heck, I can't even point with attitude...but I'm alive and there's not a mountain in sight!

The rains came down and the floods went whoosh

Chell and I have decided to do 'cover to cover' which is a bible study book which, if you follow it carefully, will guide you through the bible chronologically in a year. You're meant to start on January 1st, but we - being oh so original and clever - decided to start on May 9th...for no particular reason...other than it was there.

Now, as 'cover to cover' is a chronological study guide you're forever hopping around the the bible - so, in a few days, we'll be reading 'Job' (which is quite a few books in) - but apparently it all makes sense. Something about 'Job' being the oldest story in the bible or something...

Last night we read the story of Noah. This story is a story we all know pretty well, but have you read it recently - without the aid of a sunday school teacher? It is bizarre. There's a few things I could talk about but the main one is this: Noah was over 500 years old when God commanded him to build the ark! How he managed to even get out of bed that day, let alone lift a hammer to strike the first nail into the hull is beyond me.

If anyone has got any light to shed on this (humourous or knowledgeable - I'm happy with either) then please do let me know...but don't get me started on dimesions and woodlice...

Top 10 songwriters (currently)

I had a really good evening this evening - in fact it's a shame it's over now come to think of it...

A friend of mine by the name of Chris Spring came to visit me. Now, many people do know Chris, but if you don't know him be aware that he's quite an imposing personality. It's highly likely that, should you find yourself in the same room as Chris, that you will get to know him fairly soon. But aside from being a thoroughly good bloke he is also a fab songwriter. I would go as far as to say that if Q (the magazine not the James Bond character) phoned me up tomorrow and asked me to pull together my Top 10 Heroes of Songwriting then Chris would definitely be in there!*

Anyway, we spent the evening hanging out tonight. We ate pasta al fresco (!) chatted about God and church and stuff... then went inside to play a few of our 'in-the-pipeline' numbers to each other.

It was really cool. I really wanted to promo Chris to you guys who visit my blog...the next week holds a really promising showcase gig for Chris. There's gonna be industry there to watch him and maybe, hopefully, offer him a deal. I've got total faith that he's going to make it. He's just the kind of man I'd want to be in the mainstream spotlight - a Christian guy who won't waver under pressure. I'm looking forward to the rise of Chris Spring. (Check www.chrisspring.com for more info on him)

Anyway, that's enough advertising for one blog. I shall return and on my return I hope to say something much more controversial / enlightening...like wibble.

Also, I have made it my personal quest to try and get back into Phil Laeger's 'Friends who blog' link list - I noticed that I've been removed...it has been noted Phil. I am most upset. :-( Massage my ego would you, there's a good fellow...

* My choice for the other nine heroes of songwriting currently might be these (though this list is liable to change....a lot)
- Rufus Wainwright
- Ben Folds
- Neil Hannon
- Paul McCartney
- Badly Drawn Boy
- Neil Finn (Crowded house)
- Crispin Hunt(Longpigs)
- Damon Albarn
- Corinne Bailey Rae

Kiss. Goodnight.

Here's a first for me - these are the first lyrics I've ever put on blogger.

It's a song I wrote recently - working title is probably 'Kiss. Goodnight.' or sommit like that. Thing is, I'm rarely happy with the lyrics and poems I write but I quite like these so I thought I'd stick 'em up.

Here goes:

You can tell me your stories forever
As big as the earth; as wide as the universe…
But this verse keeps on changing
Followed up by the chorus; followed up by the bridge
This one’s a tale of a hero – let me save you some time
'Guy gets -> loses -> keeps the love of his life'
Romancing; the highs and lows now
Speak a story of love - and still it continues...

CH
It’s a poem, it’s prose, it’s a single red rose,
It’s the baby inside you when no-one else knows
It’s all mine, it’s all yours; it’s sitting inside
When the rain hammers down and the lighting bolt strikes
It’s coming tomorrow; being here all the time
It’s waving hello, it is kissing goodnight.
Kiss. Goodnight.

Arctic Monkey Boy

Look. Here's Matt White with some old bird he found... someone tell Christina! 

Mr Marks and Mr Spencer

Today's blog comes to you courtesy of Marks and Spencer.

A nice lady brought in three tubs of Marks 'n Sparks cakes for us to eat in the office today. I have been enjoying the rich chocolatey-ness all afternoon and by way of a congratulations to St Michael (and all the other saints who work in the Marks and Spencer cake kitchen) I felt it was important to do a little bit of free advertising for them.

Buy M&S cakes. They're really nice.

A couple of ROOTS reflections

Just got home from ROOTS... it was a jolly good weekend; it's definitely spawned many good blog thoughts too!

Firstly, it's amazing how much effort is put into an event which lasts 65 hours (and that includes sleeping time!) It does beg the question 'should it be longer?'. I'm not sure; I suppose the main problem would be finding a week which everyone can make...so that means school holidays. Unfortunately Spring Harvest has the monopoly on Easter so we'd have to find another place in the calendar... or would we? I dunno...all I know is it's very short at the mo

My second thought is a bit more substantial and I'd really like to hear some thoughts on it...

Part A: I spoke to a lady who told me a story about when she met Jeff Lucas (although this story isn't about Mr Lucas nor is it about Star Wars). Apparently she approached Mr Lucas and complimented him on his speaking; which he was very thankful and humble about. She went on to explain a small gripe she had in that some of his stories were very much for 'Christians' and went over the head of her non-Christian husband - she then recounted how she paniced that she'd offended Mr Lucas when he said 'Oh, I'm sorry, I thought this was a Christian conference?!' and he moved onto the next person waiting to chat to him...

The first thing I thought was: "Was Lucas right to say that?"

Part B: Chell and I were chatting about the Parklife campsite. We were sad that this year (more than ever before?) there seemed to be a bunch of people who weren't at ROOTS for any decent reason? Drinking and smoking seemingly any time of the day. Random acts of violence and bullying. Thieving. Hormone charged teens (and older) hunting each other down; primal predators and their prey. It felt like an alien world walking through the campsite - certainly not a home from home for a community of God's people...

The first thing I thought was: "So, should we be hardline on rule breaking?"

The next bit: I think these two stories are linked closely; both in the way we think of ROOTS as a conference and the way we discipline and protect it's delegates. I'm not sure what the official stance is on this but my feeling is that ROOTS is a whole lot more about the discipleship and renewal of God's people, and a lot less about evangelism and people who aren't Christians? Maybe I'm wrong but I think Jeff lucas was maybe right to say what he said (Although he clearly misheard the heart that was asking him the question in the first place). Maybe I'm wrong but how about we change tact in the campsite...afterall, what's the point of rules if we don't enforce them? We simply say in the registraion pack, if you break the rules, you'llbe sent home with no refund. Isn't that the way it should work?

I'm sick of a minority who want to take advantage of the multitudes of young people in the army who are opening their lives up to God and wanting to be 'transformed' in their communities. I think as leaders we owe them this?

What do you say? Am I too hardline?

BIG APOLOGY

For quite a few weeks now I have been sad that noone has posted any commetns on my blog - however it would seem that I am an idiot...

I accidently chose to 'moderate my comments' and didn't notice! - what a muppet.

So big apologies to all you my good friends - thank you for your lovely comments...they are insightful and beautiful...like all of you!

(And I've deselected that stupid 'Moderation Station'!)

Yellow Hell Stink Seed

It seems as though some farmer is having a bit of a joke - pretty much everywhere my eyes look I see the stuff...

I have written a poen to explain my plight:

Tis yellow in colour and stinky of smell...
You find it in fields and bouquets in hell...
The crop that I speak of is surrounding my pad...
This Oil Seed Rape...drives me stark raving mad...

I hope you like it - it took me quite soom time to find those rhymes

Here is a picture of my plight:

Hairy Tales and Nursery Grime

It is I'm indicative of an arty brain when in the time it takes for the sign in page to refresh to this writing_your_blog page I have considered two meaty subjects already:

1 - I love my iPod - it is so swish. It also has a lovely new coat which I bought for it. See through and well'ard. Tehnology and beauty mated and 5G iPod was created!
2 - My hair is far too long now....must...get....hair...cut....urgh....swallowing hair....mmmmph

Enough.

Matt White threatened me the other day. I work with Matt - he is a fine colleague to work with...fantastic sense of humour, kind and generous to the extreme and, so I thought, a man of God... that is until he threatened me the other day. He said that I am very likely to have my blog link removed from his blogpage list because of inactivity. Which is fair enough - but why do it so violently? Why not, over a sugary tea and some chocolate hobnobs, gentle caress the subject round to support me and strengthen me in my lack of blog-ness?

Hmph *cough* (That's the hair again - urgh, it's getting caught in my fingers..dsahionlvknxzcjkv vdnsuvisv...

He-Man and the Masters of the Universe

I liked this; it made me laugh... so I thought I would share :) 

Ebay disgruntlement

Is it me or has Ebay suddenly got a little bit rubbish recently?

I dunno what it is but I don't seem to be able to find anything that I want without having to trawl though hundreds of 'commercial' product adverts - it really clogs things up and slows things down... there must be some way they can thin out these adverts and stop people from bulk adding loads of the same thing?

Does anyone else feel the same way?

Supa-shopper

Nowadays supermarkets can provide you with a cheaper alternative to most of the leading brands. However, I feel that there are a few consumables which one should not compromise on for the sake for a few pence. They are:

1) Tomato Ketchup - Needs to be Heinz
2) Baked Beans - Need to be Heinz
3) Frosted Flakes - Need to be Kelloggs (i.e. Frosties)

Art

I generally like to say something pretty outragious or generally wide-sweeping a few times a year, here's the first for 2006:

ART IS FOR THE ARTIST. IF OTHERS ENJOY IT TOO; THAT'S A BONUS!

Before you reply and tear it down (which you're welcome to do) I'll give you some context. I wrote this down last night. I'm currently experiencing a bit of a dry patch creatively; post-album bends I suppose. I was reflecting on what it is that holds me back and realised that, apart from lack of time, one thing is that nowadays I tend to filter every idea through a seive of 'What will he/she think', 'What will the Christians think?', or even 'What will God think?'...

I came to the conclusion that this really isn't the right way to do it. It's not that I don't care what people think - because obviously you want people to like your music if it's going to sell...but trying to predict a reation or prempt which box I'll be squeezed into is a waste of effort. Feels like I'm throwing out ideas prematurely and it's time for that to stop!

One thing Bob Dylan said was that a song-writer just needs to keep writing songs... Song after song after song after song - and eventually they'll bump into one that's great. I've always tried to buy into that school of thought but I realise that recently I've ended up thinking way too hard - trying to make the picture appear all at once out of thin air rather than by gently drawing a line at a time.

I guess I just need to buy more pads of paper...

VORTEX

(...Matt continues...as if he hasn't not written his blog for a month and a week...)

Welcome to the busiest and most exciting blog on Blogger.com. Welcome in to the most exciting breaking news-reel in middle England.

I've heard this evening from fellow blogger Mr White that some people just come on here and fill their blog space with mindless drivel. I can't believe that people would use good internet space and fill it with rubbish...

Take Lard for example...talking and talking but he don't care. And Gandalf Graham - he's a big softy isn't he. You'd've never known it from that hard-man-picked-a-fight-with-a-dump-truck-and-won exterior. Bless him and all that read his drivel. And then...take Mr White himself...his entire blog birthed from his iPod update down-time. Crazy. What a rambling vortex we've all been trapped in - I doubt we'll ever escape...